Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
