ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
