I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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