what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
