She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
