my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
where does the pee come out of this thing
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
