used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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