Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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