Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
ok first of all what the fuck
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
