you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
