It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
