But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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