I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
