Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
