it was like his penis was on wheels.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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