I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
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