i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
