he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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