the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
