I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
