I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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