I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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