The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
