isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
