We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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