my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It was confusing and full of hummus
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
