TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
