U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize