Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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