let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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