we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
