Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
