Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
