i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Randomize
