The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
