i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
