also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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