Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
