Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
