Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
