Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
