1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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