so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she peed on how many people?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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