Midget sex pt 2 tonight
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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