yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
