spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize