Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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