So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
