I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
