Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
