Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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