How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You took a bar mat shot.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
