HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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