dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
