just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
