Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
