so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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