so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
