Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
