Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
