I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I cockslap morals
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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