haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
