she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
