I just pynch a tree in the face
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
