It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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