look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
